Family Life not Cheap

The Sammy stories are stories of family life. When I was young, I particularly liked stories (often read out loud by by mother) about families in which the parents and children actually got on well with each other. Such books gave me a sense of belonging in a normal world of kindness and loyalty. 'The Railway Children' would be a good example.

However I'm not sure that today we appreciate how much daily work goes into making that sort of 'functional' (happy) family. The idea of family has been cheapened, as if we could have it just for the asking; whereas it takes constant building until it is resilient and supportive.

When I was a bit older and away at school, I discovered the new world of Sigmund Freud, in which families, and parents in particular, were seen as the problem, not the solution. It seemed that no matter how hard parents tried and how generous they were, nothing they did was ever good enough. I did not swallow all this; my parents were obviously and wholly conscientious, despite painful flaws. But I did buy into the idea of objectifying them, seeing them externally, so to speak, and that involves a breakdown of trust.

Let no-one underestimate the wounds that parents (usually at the end of their rope) can inflict on children: today I witnessed in a Tesco car park a young man covering his head in shame, weeping uncontrollably, after his mother had sworn and bawled at him, a trauma taking place before my eyes.

But the Sammy stories attempt to embody something of family life when it's working. The essence of this is not that everyone is perfect; rather the genius of family is that it's a place where you can try out being yourself, knowing there's a bedrock of acceptance when it doesn't turn out quite right. Everyone in the family contributes to the process of helping all of us grow up.

Children make saints of their parents because they know what they need, and demand it.

It's more obvious that parents shape their children; hopefully according to their inner design.

Family life is the gift we take for granted. Someone might say 'when it works' - but even in dire situations (split families and so on) it calls the best out of us, and at least gives us a pattern of how things should be.

Perhaps the thing we most enjoy about families is the way different characters 'bounce off' each other. Often the realities of character and disposition are out of our hands, and we have to humble ourselves to accept what we've got. Humour helps. We see a little bit of this in the 'Sammy' stories.

However, the stories are meant chiefly to entertain and I hope will do so. So, without further reflections, I hope you will enjoy these tales of this 'abnormally normal' family.

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